Home again

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jig

I’ve landed back home again. For the past week or more I have tried to prepare myself for the separation from my kids – sometimes feeling okay about leaving but sometimes not.

Before I fell asleep at Angi's on my penultimate night in Canada, I asked my Angels to gather around and explained that I would need one or two to stay with me as I travelled back. I asked them to remind me of their calming presence and help me to adjust to life without my family. This thought/request I kept in mind as I bid my farewells (not tearful when I kissed and hugged Amanda bye-bye; a bit tearful with Angi; dry-eyed with Jeff).

While I was just about to tell you about my thought processes upon returning and taking my first walk along the beach that first afternoon, even before I unpacked), Angi chimed in on msn. It’s three o’clock in the morning in Kitchener; she and Jan watched a movie and she was checking on line, on her phone, before settling down. I told her that I enjoyed our brief encounter – it’s as if we’ve been together – and she replied in kind.
So I return now to tell you about my thoughts during my walk. I watched the people enjoying the mild weather on New Years Day and felt glad to be back. But other thoughts threatened to push their way in and spoil my homecoming. I recognized this phenomenon and decided to do something about it, with the help of my accompanying Angels.
I returned to my flat with a few groceries and a new attitude and set about putting away the rest of the things I’d unpacked. All the while I reminded myself of my fortunate – even enviable – situation. I have a lovely home, tailor-made by me to be familiar, cozy and inviting, and completely paid for except electricity and incidentals. Nige is two doors away, and I have many friends in town. My visit with my children and grandchildren was one of the best I can remember, and I can pop across the big pond whenever I feel the need. Meanwhile, I have no excuse but to make my life as interesting and complete as I want it to be.
One of my resolves is to travel far and wide within this little island. There is so much to see, well within a two-day meander (Tenby being a good place to start, and Nige is in full agreement) because here I am, living in a land that has so much to offer in the way of history, quaintness, beauty, variety…
And so I awoke this morning to find my new attitude still very much in the frontal region of my brain. And here’s the important bit: instead of looking back on all I leave behind when I board a plane in Toronto, steadfastly I will look forward to all that I have at home. Yes, I can say at home with conviction. Weston-super-Mare, Somerset, England IS my home. I belong here, despite the fact that I spent most of my life in Canada and raised my five beautiful, intelligent and caring children who I love so very much. I completed my task and moved on to my own life in the land where I belong. How could my attitude to my life be anything but joyful?
I smile as I save this piece and make ready to get on with my day… and my life. :-)